need more friends who will
- hang out in lingerie and drink wine w me
- go on midnight walks w me
- make art w me/ inspire me/ let me photograph them
- dance w me
a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”
I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
"You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”
BEST GRANDMA STORY
I fell for her like Troy fell to the Greeks; quickly, and in the most embarrassing way imaginable.
I’m guessing you’re referring to the incident with the horse, but that came at the end of a war that lasted 10 years. Speed is relative, but if it takes you ten years to fall for someone, I would not call that ‘quickly’.
I fell for her like Troy fell to the Greeks: slowly, then all at once, and with the aid of a giant livestock model